A bombshell Wall Street Journal report Thursday reported on the extent to which Sen. John Fetterman is both brain-dead and lazy – so lazy, in fact, that I think we should bring back chain gangs just so he can put his ogre-esque body to work doing something … anything!
It’s hard to imagine Fetterman surviving this latest scandal, the details of which might disgust you. And that’s too bad, because it’s Labor Day, and we should all be excited for the long weekend, the last of summer.
But as you fire up the grill tomorrow, think about what kind of depraved person would schedule a meeting with paralyzed veterans and then just … ghost them. You’d have to be slimier than a slug’s mucus trail, right? Or maybe you’d have to be John Fetterman.
Among other salacious details, WSJ revealed several damning text exchanges between the Pennsylvania senator and his aides.
In one incident – which I found the most shocking – Fetterman reportedly called in sick the day he was slated to meet with three paralyzed Pennsylvania military veterans who traveled some 300 miles to the nation’s capital. He reportedly told his staff he ate something bad and had a tummy ache. Veterans sacrificed their ability to walk, but Fetterman couldn’t sacrifice an hour of his time.
Worse yet, Fetterman strolled straight back into the office after his staffers met with the veterans. Aides said he looked normal. Whatever he ate, it certainly wasn’t toxic diarrhea lettuce. He reportedly informed them he had a super, super important appointment that took precedence over Keystone veterans: a Fox News hit to talk about Israel and the Iran War.
This would be funny if it were an SNL skit or South Park bit. It’s not, though. It’s just a normal day in Fetterman’s Washington.
But disabled vets weren’t the only ones reportedly blown off because the Carhartt ogre had better things to do with his time. He dismissed representatives from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) concerned about Medicaid cuts.
“Why do I have to keep having to meet with chop,” Fetterman texted an aide, according to the WSJ.
“Because they are worried about vaccines and Medicaid cuts,” the aide replied.
“Well I’m not,” Fetterman replied, before adding, “I’m convinced they just want free trips to DC.”
Dead cops and their families got the cold shoulder, too. After a staffer provided details on upcoming funerals for three police officers, Fetterman acted like a whiny teenager who had just been told by their parents that the visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s house would take up the afternoon.
“3 hours??” Fetterman texted, according to the WSJ.
The aide said the ceremony was formal and the equivalent of three separate funerals.
“This may be a nonstarter,” he shot back, perhaps fearing he’d have to wear a suit rather than a hoodie.
Fetterman even directed his staffers to help him work as little as possible, according to WSJ. He would reportedly send a staffer into a hearing to make sure the Senate clerk noted him as present, which in some cases allowed him to leave early. For 26 out of 31 hearings for assigned committees, the clerk marked Fetterman present. In 20 of those hearings, Fetterman went mute and didn’t say a word, the WSJ reported.
I can’t think of a better metaphor for how the bipartisan political class thinks of the citizens they rule over from afar in Washington, D.C.
So, yes, maybe Fetterman should be sentenced to 6 years – a full Senate term – of manual labor, digging ditches on the side of a Pennsylvania highway in a black-and-white-striped Carhartt jumpsuit. Stroke aside, there’s clearly not much going on in his brain. But maybe as he plowed his shovel into the rocky earth, he’d feel a pang of remorse for turning his job in the Senate, a once serious body, into an utter joke.
At the very least, he should resign.
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Not a defense of Senator Fetterman's behavior but why am I thinking that the same or similar things could be written about most of the rest of them?