Burn The Village. Salt The Earth.
Nothing gives me more pleasure than imagining the destruction of my husband's enemies.
Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, I am fighting the urge to take on my husband’s battles for him.
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Burn The Village. Salt The Earth.
Whenever people cross my husband, I find myself turning into St. Olga from her time before she converted.
Good or bad, I can’t stand watching people take shots at my husband. He can defend himself better than I ever could. Still, when they come for him, it makes me want revenge. He’s currently experiencing something like this, and I immediately thought of St. Olga.
If you’ve never heard her story before, it’s proof of how far a woman will go to avenge her husband.
At 15, Olga married the Viking king, Igor, who inherited the Kievan Rus Empire. This is now modern-day Ukraine/Russia. Igor went to a Slavic tribe, the Drevlians, to demand tax payments. One thing led to another, and the Drevlians ambushed and murdered Igor by tearing his body into pieces.
Olga became Queen Regent, since their only son, Sviatoslav, was only 3. The prince of the Drevlians, Prince Mal, dispatched twenty noble ambassadors by boat to Kiev, bluntly reporting that they had slain Igor and proposing that Olga marry him so they could rule together. He saw this as a great opportunity to take over her late husband’s empire.
Olga did not take this proposal well. Now a widow and interim ruler of the Kievan Rus Empire, she set out to avenge her husband’s death.
Olga agreed to host the Drevlian ambassadors and made them believe she would accept Mal’s proposal. They were greeted with warmth, but told to sleep in their boats that night. They were told that in the morning, her people would carry them in their boats into her courtyard. While they were sleeping, Olga instructed her servants to dig a deep trench in her courtyard. When the Drevlians arrived, the people of Kiev carried the boat, with the ambassadors still inside, straight into the pit. Trapped at the bottom, the servants filled the trench with dirt, burying the ambassadors alive.
She wasn’t done there. Olga sent a message back to the Drevlians stating that she had agreed to the marriage but required an even more distinguished escort. She wanted Mal to send his finest nobles and chieftains to accompany her on her journey to Drevlian. Mal eagerly agreed, sending his best men. Upon their arrival, Olga invited them to wash off the journey in a bathhouse before the formal audience. Once the nobles were inside, her servants locked the doors from the outside and set the entire building ablaze, burning the men alive.
Still not satisfied, Olga traveled to Drevlian territory with a small number of soldiers. She announced that she would hold a funeral feast in honor of Igor. The Drevlians accepted. Olga arrived, wept over the grave, and joined the banquet. As the Drevlians became intoxicated, she signaled to her soldiers. Five thousand Drevlians were slaughtered at the feast.
Olga’s final and most devastating act came when she marched her army against the Drevlians. She laid siege to their capital city, which dragged on for over a year. The Drevlians were desperate for relief, so she sent messengers to offer peace.
She told the people inside the city that her thirst for vengeance was over. If they wanted to end the siege, all she asked for was three pigeons and three sparrows from each household. The Drevlians gathered the birds and delivered them to Olga. Her soldiers were instructed to attach embers to the bird’s legs before releasing them back into the city. The capital city erupted in flames as the birds went back to their homes. As the residents fled, Olga’s troops finished the job.
Years later, Olga converted to Christianity and, after her death, became the first Russian saint.
This is where my mind was last night. I want to be like Olga after her conversion, leading her people to peace and truth in God. But sometimes I find myself seeking retribution, especially in matters that concern my husband or children. I want their enemies brought before me and dealt with.
I think there are lessons to be learned from both sides of Olga’s life. She was fiercely loyal and loved her husband. I’m not suggesting that every wife should want to burn an enemy’s village to the ground, but they should want their husband’s success just as much as they want their own.
I’ve seen so many of my friends who take shots at their husbands or denounce them in public, and it always makes me cringe. You can disagree with your husband, but those conversations should always stay in the privacy of your relationship. Once you step out of your house, you are one unit in lockstep.
A strong marriage is built on the reality that it is the two of you against the world. Everything about our society is seeking to pull you apart. You have to fight that with everything you have.
Olga is also the pillar of redemption. You should always strive to come back from your desire for vengeance to a place of peace and forgiveness. Not every battle has to be won, and sometimes even when you think your cause is just, you have to remember that humanity is still deserving of dignity.
I have peace knowing my husband can handle himself. He doesn’t need me to fight the Drevlians in his life. But I also have a tinge of satisfaction knowing that I would be willing. Like I said, good or bad, this is where I find myself. I want to be like St. Olga.
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