Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This weekend, we discuss the futile pursuit of happiness that comes with chasing glory.
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JJ Watt was one of the biggest stars in the NFL and married Kealia Watt, one of the biggest stars on the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team. JJ competed at the highest level and will likely be a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame.
I remember seeing interviews with players saying they were relieved when he retired because it made their job easier knowing they didn’t have to line up on the opposite side of him. His wife, Kealia, also led an accomplished life on the field, playing soccer, including an NCAA national title and the record for the fastest first goal in USWNT history.
The two are undeniably incredible, but they aren’t close to being the same. I think that’s why I have a problem with how Real Salt Lake, a men’s MLS team, and JJ Watt handled a social media post made on Thursday.
The Watt family visited the team’s stadium on Wednesday, and naturally the social media team posted a photo of them walking out of the tunnel. The caption was short and sweet: “Welcome to the Riot, @JJWatt and fam,” complete with a little heart-eyed emoji.
Apparently this was offensive. JJ Watt quoted the post, taking a shot at the decision not to name his wife and her accomplishments. It’s important to point out that all the team did was tag him in it. They didn’t say anything about his career or fame. Regardless, the move turned into a firestorm of JJ listing a bunch of his wife’s accomplishments and the team groveling in return with a book-length apology listing a number of career highlights Kealia had.
It’s not that I have an issue with JJ wanting to elevate his wife and her awards, but the post was perfectly fine and wasn’t disrespectful in any way, so it left me extremely confused. Are we really at a point in our societal breakdown where we can’t recognize that an individual’s status within relationships is uneven and that’s ok?
Women will always crave affirmation. I think this is as true now as it has ever been. We like hearing people heap praise on us. It’s a motivator for us to excel. You’re a great student. You have a beautiful voice. Wow, that piece was well-written. You’re a great mother. In our moments of weakness, it’s little comments like this that help keep us pushing forward.
So, as I said, I don’t have a problem with JJ praising his wife publicly, and I have no way of knowing whether, behind the scenes, Kealia threw a fit about them only tagging her husband in the post and not her. Still, I have my suspicions that JJ’s overreaction had something to do with Kealia being upset.
It’s ok if you are called Mrs. Watt or, in this case, “fam.” Even without the championships and accolades, this moniker is proof enough that you’ve accomplished something incredible in this world. Not only do you have a man who has pledged his life to honor, protect, and provide for you, but the love between you and him has borne fruit.
There is something I often tell our daughters that I think would have been helpful for Kealia. When you are lying on your deathbed, it won’t be your NCAA national championship award or the media praise that will be praying for you and keeping you company. It will be your family. To discount that and require a public acknowledgment of your worldly trophies feels backward.
It’s not that you can’t or shouldn’t pursue greatness. It’s not a sin to use the gifts God has given you to the best of your ability, but in the end none of it matters. It fills your years but not your heart.