Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, I talk about teaching your children the importance of winning.
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Don’t Be A Loser
I received an email from one of my readers this week that made me think that either he missed the point of my Wednesday newsletter, or I didn’t explain myself well enough.
“I object to the focus on winning. The point of all games is to play well and have fun. It is more fun when you win by playing well, but that is a secondary consideration,” he said.
As a reminder, I wrote about my dilemma of having to be in two places at once this week. My high school and middle school daughters both had games on the same day, and my husband was out of town. I chose to go to my oldest daughter’s game, but told my younger daughter that her mission was to win. This wasn’t because telling her that winning is the most important thing, but because if she lost (and she did), I wouldn’t be able to watch her play again this year.
And even though that’s not what I meant when retelling this story or when talking to her, I think it’s important to explain that I firmly believe telling your children they shouldn’t focus on winning breeds apathetic children.
He’s right that playing well is incredibly important and that children should choose a sport they enjoy. Not every child is going to be a starter or the best at what they do, but playing sports is a great way to build confidence and learn to work together toward a singular purpose: winning.
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