Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, the newsletter wades into the conflict in Iran. What happens to our daughters if we kill off all the good men?
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Make Love, Not War
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around why I am so upset by the war in Iran. A part of it definitely has to do with feeling betrayed by President Trump and his administration, who have repeatedly promised not to pull us into any new foreign wars. They seemed to understand that enough American blood and money had been spent in the Middle East. Their new posture does not reflect the promises that were made during the campaign and early administration.
I’m a millennial who came of age during the post-9/11 era, particularly the U.S. invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq. So watching U.S. military members once again die in the Middle East immediately causes worry. The Global War on Terror (GWOT) was sold to the public on claims of weapons of mass destruction (WMDs) and ties to al-Qaeda in Iraq, which ultimately proved to be an unfounded lie. Intelligence was cherry-picked or exaggerated, leading to a war that dragged on for nearly two decades, well into our adult lives. This not only cost trillions of dollars but resulted in thousands of U.S. military deaths and tens of thousands wounded.
Many of us remember the initial promises of quick victories and democracy spreading. But these promises were just more lies that gave way to endless occupation, with little accountability for leaders who promoted the false premises. Instead of victory, our generation was handed economic recession and a growing distrust in the government.
But that’s really only part of it.
We watched as boys from our small towns enlisted in mass under the guise of protecting American freedoms at home. We sent them off with parades. We praised their bravery and prayed for their safety. Most of us made care packages and wrote letters to them on deployment so they would never forget how much we appreciated their sacrifice.
Then we watched, horrified, as these same boys came home ghosts, as if their lives had been sucked out of them. We sent them off as strong examples of American might, and the war sent them back as shells of themselves, if they came home at all. So asking us to “trust the plan” after all of this heartbreak seems insensitive at best.
These were the boys I went to school with. They were potential mates, but most were barely capable of handling civilian life, much less marriage and children. The war had removed this possibility for them and us women.
I’ve told y’all this before, but I am a strong-willed woman. There is no reality in which I was going to settle down with a man that I could control or walk all over. Like most women, I desire protection and strength from my husband. Naturally, I am attracted to the type of man who would typically go into law enforcement or military service. What our government did for twenty years was take the best men our country had to offer, feed them into the meat grinder.
When I look at my husband, I am always relieved that I found him. Due to circumstances outside of his control, he never joined the military. Still, he exhibits the same characteristics of men who do. He was spared from this fate, and I will be forever grateful to God for putting him into my life.
However, as we embark on yet another seemingly endless war in the Middle East, where six service members have died, and 18 are wounded (as of Tuesday afternoon), I can’t help but worry that the Trump administration is committing the same sins as previous presidents by once again sending our best to the meat grinder.
What does this mean for my daughters? I am raising them to be different than their cohort. They aren’t obsessed with social media; they don’t even have phones. They understand the horrors of abortion. They want to get married and have children. They are looking for men they can love and support. If this does turn out to be another 20 years of American soldiers fighting in the Middle East, where does this leave my girls when they start looking for strong men to marry?
Every generation of Americans has had to deal with deadly conflict. We are not unique in this. However, our society is clearly paying the price for our obsession with war. We’ve already seen what it does to a generation when the best and bravest never come back home. Our society can’t handle anymore of these Americans being lost to the Middle East. We need them here at home, protecting and providing. We need them to raise families and guide the culture. Without them, our country is weakened, and the wolves (transgender ideology, abortion, DEI, etc.) are given the power to destroy us.
A lot of how I feel about this conflict has to do with my own experiences during the GWOT. Maybe I am overreacting, and this won’t last decades. But the drums of war are beating louder than ever. The warmongers in Washington, D.C., are salivating at the chance to jump into another civilization-destroying war. The calls for this to continue are only growing stronger as they feel the power shifting.
But it’s not just in D.C. I was shocked to hear older generations of Americans, who lambasted the ineffectiveness of the last Middle Eastern war, celebrate with overwhelming enthusiasm over the regime change in Iran. They know the cost and yet still support it.
If you love our country and its military, how could you say that this is good for America? If you love your daughters and granddaughters, how could you not weep for what’s to come? What happens to our daughters if we send all the good men to die?
None of this is to say that I believe the U.S. should never deploy its military. A just war is always worth fighting. The American Revolution was a bloody war that took many lives, but it gave us the greatest country in the world. But there has been no explanation given that tells me the Iran conflict was worth the lives we’ve already lost and the others that will likely be taken.
I know this isn’t a typical newsletter from me, but the thought of losing American lives is weighing heavily on my heart. When I listen to my daughters talk about the future, there’s a tightness in my chest over the worry about what that will look like for them.
We have the greatest military in the world for a reason. It’s filled with men from small towns all over the U.S. who are willingly risking their lives to protect the mission. All I am asking is that the administration in charge ensure that the mission is just.
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