Mr. Right: The Real Young Republican Scandal
This week, some juicy, high-school-esque drama roiled some young Republican and conservative political circles.
By John Loftus and Dylan Housman
Welcome back to Mr. Right, a newsletter about navigating modern manhood for normal guys in a not-normal world. This week, we discuss the real scandal behind Young Republicans’ textgate and what to do when a transgender person is visiting your home.
The Real Young Republican Scandal
This week, some juicy, high-school-esque drama roiled some young Republican and conservative political circles. But the real scandal is being overlooked.
Text messages from various group chats of Young Republican groups were leaked to Politico and painted a less-than-flattering picture of young GOP operatives. The previously unknown kids used racial epithets and slurs, praised Hitler, and made references to gas chambers, among other stupid remarks. To borrow slang, they are “edgelords,” people who are overly online and express edgy, extremist views for attention.
There’s a ton of nerd infighting about who leaked the messages to a media outlet like Politico, and whether the person works in the Trump administration. There’s also rank hypocrisy coming from the liberals, who are stunned by these messages but still refuse to condemn the Democratic AG nominee for Virginia, Jay Jones, who fantasized about killing a Republican in a text exchange. (Can Republicans Win Virginia In The Wake Of The Jay Jones Crisis?)
But let’s set all that aside. The real scandal here is that these young Republicans are fat, out of shape, and poisoned by irony.
On the fat front, I’m not trying to be mean. Pretty much all of them probably haven’t seen a gym or jogged a mile in years. Being in that kind of poor physical shape makes you unhappy and insecure, so much so that you are actually willing to go into politics. It makes you mean and churlish. So, maybe instead of trying to role play as political power players in a dorky organization like Young Republicans, they should start lifting and running and focusing on themselves. They would be happier and better off for it.
They also are suffering from irony poisoning, a modern disease that afflicts many young people who spend too much time on the internet. When you suffer from irony poisoning, you are numb and nihilistic. You ironically praise Hitler, for example, and you can no longer associate his name with true evil and the heinous acts of the Nazis. You’re just “joking,” but are you really? Things that shouldn’t be blurred begin to get blurred. You lose sight of what’s true, what’s moral, what’s ethical, and how to be a civilized human being.
It’s a sad state to live in, especially as an adult. Middle schoolers acting as edgelords while playing video games with their friends is, to some extent, excusable. They’re immature. They don’t know any better. They think they’re being funny and not super annoying. But for adults stuck in arrested development, it’s just … sad. And lame.
These young Republicans were all fired and condemned. I sincerely hope their lives aren’t ruined forever. But I do hope they lace up some running shoes and hit the local Planet Fitness.
Dear Mr. Right: Transgender Visiting For The Weekend
Dear Mr. Right,
My wife’s friend and her ‘boyfriend’ are visiting us for the weekend. We were super excited, at first. But the friend’s ‘boyfriend’ is actually a girl who identifies as transgender. This trans girl is apparently excited to meet me and my wife, and we will all be going to an Oktoberfest event on Saturday. The couple will be staying for three whole nights with us. I already know it’s going to be painfully awkward. How do I navigate this situation? Help me, Mr. Right!
Zach from Atlanta
Dear Zach,
While that is not a position I would like to find myself in, I do think that you should try to make the most of it. By that I mean: do not let it ruin your whole weekend or the Oktoberfest event.
Yes, it might be uncomfortable. And I take it that you and your wife are conservative and do not really believe in the whole transgender lie.
If it gets to be unbearable, I suggest that you and your wife pull the classic “we’re super tired and going to bed” move as early as possible. There is also the “we were super tired last night and decided to sleep in until 11” move. Or, “we’re super hungover and can’t stomach breakfast.”
That way, the other couple will have time to do things by themselves. It’s the least rude way possible to avoid spending more time with them than necessary.
But always – always! – still be a good, polite host. Don’t be a jerk.
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