No One Likes An Emotionally Weak Man
I think it’s essential for men to have periods of their lives where they push themselves physically and mentally.
Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, I told our girls what to look for in a husband.
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No One Likes An Emotionally Weak Man
While my husband and oldest daughter were gone hunting, the rest of the girls and I began rewatching episodes of the survival show, Alone. I don’t really know why we decided to watch this show in particular, considering we typically opt for something off the Hallmark Channel. Regardless, the girls were getting really into it.
They started picking their favorite contestants based on who they thought would last the longest. By the time our hunters came home, we were deeply invested in who would win. So when it came time to watch a movie together as a family, the girls asked if they could continue the Alone marathon we had started while they were gone.
Now our whole family is invested. Some of the guys only lasted a couple of hours. By the time the first week was over, at least half of the contestants had left the show. Men were crying on camera, talking about how much they missed their families. I expected the girls to appreciate the public display of love and affection, but to my surprise, they saw this as a sign of weakness.
“They haven’t even been gone that long! I thought the point of the show is to outlast everyone so that they can bring home the money to their families???”
I had to laugh because never in my life had I noticed how similar my girls are to me. It’s not that I didn’t feel sympathy for these men and the mental toll it takes being away from their families, but they knew what they were signing up for when they auditioned for the show. The whole premise of the show was to be … alone.
We entered the last episode of the show with just two men left, both of whom the girls and I had wanted to win. So we were fine with either man, but it was interesting to see them talk about their final days and the resolve they showed.
At one point, both men said they were either going to win or be medically disqualified. Leaving on their own volition wasn’t an option. One of the girls asked me what I would have said to my husband before he left if he were on the show.
I had actually been thinking about my answer to this question a lot since we started rewatching. I told them that before he left, I would have asked him why he was going. Are you going to see if you can survive in the wilderness? Are you going to outlast the other men? Are you going to work through the mental obstacles all of these men seemingly face?
If the answer were to survive in the wilderness, I would have told him not to go. We have land for him to go to live out his bushman fantasies on. There’s no need to be dropped in the middle of nowhere to figure that out.
To the other two questions, my answer would have been different. I think it’s essential for men to have periods of their lives where they push themselves physically and mentally. They almost always come back stronger and more focused on their true purpose than before. And in our modern world, there are hardly any opportunities for men (outside of military service) to do this.
Still, there would be an ultimatum. You can’t quit because you miss us. While it might be true, and the feelings will be an overwhelming distraction, you have to push past it. Use that as fuel to come back a stronger man. If you came back after four days because you missed us, I would feel disappointed.
After I explained how I felt, my husband started smirking. He knew I would respond that way. My oldest daughter noticed the unspoken conversation we were having and eventually broke the silence, saying, “Either come back with your shield or on it.”
My entire speech summed up in one comment.
Wives shouldn’t want their husbands to be emotionally/mentally weak, which is not the same thing as being emotionally unavailable. Being emotionally unavailable is a weakness in itself and is utterly incompatible with a healthy marriage. But being a family protector requires the ability to do hard things, and to do those things, you have to have a level of mental toughness that, when your emotions threaten to take over, allows you to ignore them and focus on the more important task.
My husband has an uncanny ability to set aside emotional ploys to focus on the real issues. He is also incredibly kind, warm, and loving to us the moment he steps through our door. I want our girls to find someone like him. It’s funny to think that rewatching episodes of a stupid survival show gave me the perfect moment to explain what they should be looking for in a husband.
WHAT I SAW THIS WEEK:
I broke down President Trump’s move to capture former Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro from his fortified compound in Caracas. You can read all about that here: ROOKE: American Might Or Paper Tigers Everywhere? Trump Exposed The World For What It Truly Is
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Love the story!