Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, we discuss Scottie Scheffler’s big win and my daughter’s two-day retreat.
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I’ve always been a big fan of professional golfer Scottie Scheffler. Although he was born in New Jersey, he grew up in Dallas, so Texans like myself always claim him as an honorary Texan. It was a thrill to see him win the Tour Championship last weekend at the FedExCup. But what made it even more special was watching his face light up after the win when his wife and children entered the room. He displays this kind of effortless family-man characteristic found only in men who actually love being husbands and fathers.
While the spotlight was for sure on Scottie in that moment and you couldn’t help but notice the open arms and big smile on his face, as a mother, I couldn’t help but focus on how his children and wife reacted. She smiled a proud, wifely grin you give your husband after watching him succeed, as his children ran into his arms. I think, even more so than his win, it’s important to recognize how powerful this moment is from an imagery perspective.
Our society needs to be constantly shown the model of true success. Nothing that Scottie does on the course is as important as knowing that at the end of the grueling schedule of the golf season his family is there waiting for him. He seems to have balanced the chaos well enough that his wife and children want to celebrate his successes as their own. This is a lesson that, while it might be easy to say, is often hard to emulate. There are plenty of top-tier athletes who sacrifice their family for success, but Scottie shows there is a better way.
This experience got me thinking about my own family dynamic.
While Scottie was finishing the tournament, we were dropping off our high schooler at her first-ever overnight retreat. It’s a new activity her school is adopting where they want to start the students’ school year off with a two-day Catholic retreat beginning with Mass on Sundays. The two days are then filled with adoration, prayer, and age-appropriate talks by speakers from across the country. The idea is to ground students in the expectations for the new year and deepen their connection to their faith as a guide for their lives.
I was, of course, pretty worried about letting her go. We have never been the-sleepaway-camp or spend-the-night kind of parents. My thought is that nothing good ever happens after 11:00 p.m. Plus, I like going to bed at night knowing that everyone I love is safely under one roof. Still, I eventually decided to let her go, despite my initial doubts, because I knew this would be an important developmental opportunity for her, and I didn’t want the first time she ever spent the night without us to be when she went away to college.
They were probably some of the hardest days I’ve had in a while. It’s not easy to have zero contact with your child. I had so many questions. Was she being fed? Did she have a good experience sleeping in her cabin with the other girls? Was the experience worth the sleepless night that I had worrying about her?
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We picked her up Tuesday, and she was bouncing off the walls, telling us all about the amazing talks they had and how much fun the games were. But before we got into all the stories from her trip, there was the moment we were finally reunited. I saw her pull up into the parking lot with her ride. She immediately got out of the car. Her sisters followed me. They beat me to her because they started running the moment their feet hit the pavement. They bumrushed her with hugs that squeezed her so tightly her bags started falling off her shoulders and out of her hands. She was smiling from ear to ear as they were telling her how much they missed her and how happy they were to have her back.
One by one, they helped unload her body of all the bags, leaving her arms completely free for me. She walked over with her bright eyes and teenage smile. With my arms wide open, she leaned into my body and gave me the sweet relief of having her back home. She kissed me gently on my cheek and whispered, “I missed you so much, Momma.” She held my hand the whole drive home as she detailed every moment of the retreat.
Later that night, she came into my room to kiss me goodnight and tell me how happy she was to be back home. By the way she said it, I know she meant more than just the house that she lives in with us. Home meant being wherever the whole family is together.
This is an experience that millions of families have every day. And the very one that Scottie and his family showed the world Sunday. Your heart can truly only hold one thing of great importance. You can’t interchange your priorities there like you would clothes each day. The product shows in the moments like after a win or when you come back from a trip. How does your family greet you on your big return? If you’ve kept family as the most important priority in your life even when you are competing at work, they’ll be there the moment you get back, celebrating you being home. But if you have allowed some other issue to occupy that space in your heart, it will be obvious.
Like Scottie, my daughter proved she prioritizes keeping her family close. It was one of the moments that made me realize that I didn’t need to be so nervous sending her off into the world. She knows where home is, and she will keep that no matter where she goes.
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