Ratchet, Woke, Hypermodern: Which Way, Middle Eastern Man?
How Muslims are coping with globalization.
Islam has seen fractures since conception. Sunni versus Shia versus Ibadi. Athari versus Ashari versus Maturidi. Jafari versus Zaydi versus Ismaili.
With that said, I’ll leave discussion of formal sectarianism and warring theological schools for another day. What’s piqued my interest is the recent emergence of three distinct varieties of Islam, each distinguished by particular aesthetic and ideological qualities.
Put simply: Islam is undergoing a speciation event in response to globalism.
1. Mr. Beast Islam
“Mr. Beast Islam” refers to a hypermodern strain of Islam flourishing among the upper-middle and upper class of the Gulf Arab states.
Credit for the lexical innovation goes to anonymous internet users. Synonyms include “Dubai Islam” and “Mr. Beast Islamofuturism.”
But why Mr. Beast?
In the first place, the YouTuber has business ties to the Middle East.
Mr. Beast created Beast Land, a temporary theme park in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, in late 2025. Beast Land was over 2 million square feet. It featured rides, games, food stalls, and various Beastly attractions. It reportedly cost $85 million to construct.
When questioned on the “reasoning with the location,” Mr. Beast replied, “Middle of the world because a majority of my audience is outside America and we have a big middle eastern fan base. Wanted to give them a chance to participate!”
If Mr. Beast Islam proves successful, doing business in Saudi Arabia will ignite about as much controversy as doing business in Chicago might.
Mr. Beast Islam refers to more than the entrepreneur’s business dealings. The term evokes a certain Beastian aesthetic — in-your-face, exaggerated, loud — which is common to the Gulf Arab states.
This is Islam, increasingly secularized for the good of the economy. Practitioners of Mr. Beast Islam are wealthy and liberal (at least, in comparison to their Ratchet brethren, who we’ll discuss in a moment).
Examples of Mr. Beast Islam include:
The Riyadh Comedy Festival, featuring, among others, Aziz Ansari, Louis C.K., Dave Chappelle, Tom Segura, and Kevin Hart.
SOUNDSTORM 2025, the Riyadh music festival, featuring, among others, Post Malone, Cardi B, Benson Boone, and Pitbull.
A massive rave in the Saudi desert, which looked remarkably similar to Western raves, with the addition of a brief pause for prayer.
Instagram models who vacation in Dubai.
Instagram males who take photos in front of sports cars in Dubai.
Neon lights.
Megatall skyscrapers and other such gigaprojects.
Cristiano Ronaldo, who said in February 2026, “I belong to Saudi Arabia.”
Mr. Beast Islam is an attempt by the wealthy children of affluent Arab nations to modernize and (partially) defang Islam.
Note that this effort is top down. I can’t speak to the attitudes of middle-class or lower-class Arabs living in the Gulf.
That’s all for Mr. Beast Islam. Below the paywall, you’ll learn about:
Fat women reinventing polygyny from first principles
My favorite example of Woke Islam
Mamdani Muslims
The communist heir to an enormous fortune who started a commune/alleged sex cult, then converted to Islam
The dangers of Ratchet Islam
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