Right, But Who Takes Care Of You?
I was thinking about this during my morning prayers before I sat down to write my newsletter.
Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, I discuss exhaustion of motherhood and the beautiful realization that no matter what, you are not alone.
Right, But Who Takes Care Of You?
Our house right now is an active contamination site. Both literally and figuratively. All of the girls are congested, running fevers, and have a cough that just won’t go away. They are on various medications because it seems each one has a different illness, even though the symptoms are pretty similar.
Once again, I’ve found myself in a place where I feel like I haven’t slept in days. I’m having trouble falling asleep, and when I finally do, I wake up a couple of hours later, having to go through the same routine to fall asleep again. I can’t remember the last time my morning alarm rang, and I woke up feeling rested and fully recharged.
I joked with a friend of mine the other day that there hasn’t been a week in the last several months that hasn’t included at least one emergency. It can feel a bit like I am on a runaway train. There’s no stopping the machine, just constantly barreling forward at a seemingly unmanageable pace. And yet, I get up every morning and somehow keep the train on its tracks.
It’s a miracle, really. I am not oblivious to the fact that I am making all of this work because I have relied heavily on my faith. Prayer works in so many ways, but the most helpful to me in these moments is knowing that I have all the angels and saints praying for me and actively working for me as I fight the unwieldy ride.
Still, it’s put me in a bit of a survival mode, and with Christmas coming up, I don’t want to just “make it through.” I want to thrive and enjoy these moments with the girls while I am still blessed to have them under my roof.
So I am left on these tracks, racing towards an unknown destination, just praying that I make it there safely.
There is this mainstream thought that gets regurgitated to mothers, especially, that if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of your family. And to a certain extent, this is true. I am so exhausted that things are slipping through the cracks. I know this is because I haven’t taken the time to recharge. However, there isn’t much I can do about that right now. My family cannot afford for me to check out of our daily activities.
I was thinking about this during my morning prayers before I sat down to write my newsletter. How do I explain to mothers going through this same situation, or to young women who aren’t married yet but are looking forward to motherhood, that we have to keep moving even when it doesn’t feel possible?
That’s when I was reminded that there is no earthly explanation for the motivation that allows parents to put one foot in front of the other during these seasons. I have four of the most incredible little treasures (reasons) not to stop: Lily, Lucy, Olivia, and Maisie.
It’s certainly easier to throw a pity party for myself. People would understand and possibly commend me for prioritizing myself. But this kind of thinking has never set well with me. I don’t want to paint with a broad brush, claiming that any mother who takes a “me day” is somehow taking the easy way out. However, something clicks inside me when I lose a little resolve, activating the will to keep going. And to my surprise, every time I somehow rise to the occasion and meet the needs of my little treasures.
I try (and sometimes fail miserably) to take our Blessed Mother Mary as an example for how to be a devoted mother to our girls. Her profound Fiat at the Annunciation, “Be it done unto me,” when the angel Gabriel told her that she would conceive and bear the Son of God, is a pivotal moment of humble, faithful, and free consent to God’s will. She is the perfect example of silent strength through suffering and deep, sacrificial maternal love.
I secretly hope that, in those moments when resolve wears thin, it is my desire to emulate her example that keeps me going, not my selfish ego.
When people see that I am running on fumes and they ask me who is taking care of me, I can firmly say that my husband is an understanding man who does his best to help carry my burdens and my own parents and sisters are always willing to step in when I need them. And, perhaps most importantly, I am also blessed with a rich faith that tells me I am not alone and that I will be rewarded for my effort.
Sometimes these rewards are immediate. If the girls are feeling up to it, we are decorating our Christmas tree tonight. But other times these efforts won’t bear fruit for years to come. Like when I watch my own girls become mothers.
WHAT I SAW THIS WEEK:
There are two posts by the same author that I think deserve special attention. The Caller’s Natalie Sandoval wrote a piece for the State of the Day substack this week about The Childless Mothers Devouring The West. “The childless woman of the left takes the world’s poor, criminal, and deranged under her wing. Every murderer or terrorist or scammer is a victim of his circumstances. Extra pity is doled out for non-white or otherwise ‘marginalized’ offenders.”
And also she wrote about the devastating lack of justice in the UK for the rape victims who suffered unimaginable horrors. ‘Treated As A Slave’: Horrifying Details Emerge About Massive UK Rape Scandal
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