Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, we get a little fatherly advice from Rocky Balboa!
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It’s been a couple of weeks since my husband and I returned from our hunting trip to Idaho. You’ve heard all about it in previous newsletters, but there is one conversation that I wasn’t planning on writing about until a friend sent me the USA Today interview with Sylvester Stallone.
Between the hunts, we would be back at the lodge, waiting to go out again. We shared the lodge with other hunters, so we would all naturally congregate in the sitting room to talk about what animals we saw and where, and life in general. One afternoon, we talked to another hunter who had sons. He owns a couple of very successful businesses. My husband asked whether his sons were interested in taking over or whether he planned to include them in the business. To our surprise and my obvious disappointment, he said no.
I wear my emotions on my face. You always know what I am thinking and probably should never take me to a poker game. Predictably, the man noticed my visceral reaction to his “no.” He then inquired about my reaction, asking if we would do it differently.
I’m never one to shy away from giving my opinion if asked, so I bluntly said that there is nothing wrong with a little nepotism. He laughed and explained that, in his view, he built these companies from nothing and that if his children wanted to live the same life as him, they would have to do the same.
“I’m not just going to hand them something that already works. They’ll have to earn their own way in life.”
I’m not sure my head spun a full 360 when he said that, but it sure felt that way, and given his reaction, it might have actually. Here’s the problem with that statement. It’s not that I don’t believe a child should have to work hard and succeed on their own merit. No parent is required to support a child refusing to thrive. However, there is a big difference between enforcing a proper work ethic and discipline and forcing a child down a hard path when another option exists.