Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, I tell you when I knew my husband was the “one.”
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Touch Me One More Time
I’ve been thinking about it all week long and wanted to tell y’all how I knew I would marry my husband.
It’s probably important that I first tell y’all that I’ve been in desperate need of an attitude adjustment this week. Our spring school and sports schedule, combined with my husband being out of town again and it storming every night, has put a damper on my mood, to say the least. Imagine Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, moping around the house, and you’ll get a glimpse of what everyone has had to suffer through.
My husband is the exact opposite of me. I am the worrier who thinks that the sky is going to fall at any minute. He is the positive one who always promises that there is nothing to fear because it’s all going to work out. And he’s always right. They do end up working themselves out for the better.
The night we met, I knew he was different. We were in college, and I had just gotten a job at the same English pub where he worked. He walked through the door with the biggest smile on his face, and my heart started racing. He walked over to introduce himself to me, and it felt like I knew my life had changed forever. We wouldn’t officially start dating for a year, but in that time, we were practically inseparable. He looked after me even though I wasn’t his responsibility.
I remember one time, right after we started dating, when one of my sisters, who lived with a group of our friends and me, went out for a girls’ night. I had mentioned it to him before I left work that night, hoping that he would get the hint to meet us out, even though it was just supposed to be us girls. Hours had passed, and I found myself looking at the door, waiting for him to walk in, even though there was no guarantee he would show. Just when I had given up hope, I felt his arms wrap around me, and it was like in an instant every bit of my body relaxed. I didn’t have to see his face to know it was him.
His touch calms me like no one else can. I was young, but somehow I knew that if you find someone who can give you relief from your worries, you should hold on to them. And so I did. For the last 15 years, anytime a serious issue has come up, he’s found a way to get us through. Even in moments where I am unable to see the light, he shows me that if I just keep pushing forward, I’ll reach it. All I have to do is trust him.
Trust is probably the most important foundation a relationship can have. It’s so much more than whether they tell the truth. It’s found in the deepest parts of your heart, where you know without a shadow of doubt that the other person wants the best for you and will work until their dying breath to make sure you get it.
I knew he wanted this for me back then, and all of these years later, it has only grown. He wants to be the person who provides me with safety and protection. It’s not always right when I want it to happen, but he finds a way through the darkness every time to bring it to me.
I miss this the most when he is gone.
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