We Banned The Slutty Dresses At Homecoming
This week, I am delivering on my promise from last week, and we are discussing homecoming.
Welcome back to Good Life, a newsletter about navigating our modern culture and staying sane in the process. This week, I am delivering on my promise from last week, and we are discussing homecoming.
We Banned The Slutty Dresses At Homecoming
Sometimes it hits me like a bus that I have a high schooler. One of my friends used to get mad at the rest of the moms in our group when we’d say the typical mom-isms like, “Time is a thief” or “I blinked and they grew up.” So I’ll spare you any comments like that. However, sending her off to her first homecoming dance was one of those moments that I’ll be processing for some time.
I knew I’d be excited and nervous for her, but I had no idea how much. I lost track of how many times I cried, which I am sure probably doesn’t shock you if you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while. It’s hard not to get emotional when your daughter looks so beautiful. Even my husband — whom I can count on one hand with fingers left over how many times he’s cried in our almost 15 years of marriage — had wet eyes.
The rest of the moms were having fun teasing me about the tears. I am the youngest mom in the class, so I always get the seasoned vets commenting about how this is my first, and of course I am emotional. However, all I kept thinking was how wrong they were. I will be like this with all the girls. Mothers should show their daughters that every milestone they cross is important and worthy of marking in their mind’s memory book. It helps solidify the bond you’ve spent the last decade forming.
I was just happy that she wanted me there for everything. One of my sisters came over and fixed her hair while I did her makeup. My husband bought her a corsage. Typically, the date does this, but at our school, the freshman class isn’t allowed to bring dates. It’s the one year they go as a group. I think this is a great idea because it gets the first real dance of their high school life out of the way without the anxiety and awkwardness of trying to pair up. It’s a trial run, the perfect ice breaker, for the spring prom when they will be allowed to bring a date.
As we were at the park taking photos before their group dinner, other girls from the local public high school were also taking homecoming photos, and I couldn’t help but notice the stark difference between the two groups. Our school is a small, conservative Catholic school with a strict dress code. Every girl has to get their dress approved before homecoming by school officials, which is a little annoying because, as a parent, I want to be the only one to police my own daughter’s outfit.
However, I understand the “why” behind the rule, and seeing those other girls made me feel incredibly grateful that they require a dress code. If you haven’t seen a homecoming dress in recent years, there isn’t typically much to it. Thin straps (if there are any), low cut, and the hems are so short that you wonder if they’ll be able to bend over the whole night without exposing themselves.
The juxtaposition of the two groups’ dresses was a welcome reminder of how fortunate we were to have discovered this small school. Our girls looked just as beautiful as the other girls, with the added bonus that mystery still lingered. In a way, they were more alluring because of the dress code than they would have been otherwise.
I remember talking with one of my friends who had older daughters about trying to find a dress they could both agree on. Like most times when I disagree with modern parenting, she told me just to wait until my daughter was in high school. She argued that I would be letting her buy the “nothing there” dress, too. “You want them to fit in,” she’d tell me.
But that’s just not the case. Of course, there is a level of wanting that you can’t escape as a parent. You never want to set your child up for failure. However, the absolute last thing I want is for my daughters to fit into this fallen modern world. It’s the exact opposite of that, really. I want their light to shine so bright that they can’t help but be noticed in the darkness.
I think that part of this light is allowing them the opportunity to slowly progress into adulthood in their teenage years. It’s a balancing act. You don’t want to shelter them so much that when they enter adulthood, they have no guidelines for how to act or dress, while also preserving some of that childlike innocence that makes them different.
Still, I think that if you start creating trust between the two of you when your daughters are little and continue to reinforce that as they become teenagers, it’s easier to look at them and say, “No.”
I wish some parents would realize that holding their children back from something isn’t going to ruin their life or their relationship with them. In fact, their daughters will look back at your protectiveness with appreciation and fondness. I know I do with my own parents.
When I drove her home that night, I became emotional again as she detailed every single thing that had happened. I wasn’t sad at all. I was relieved because, as she was telling me about who she danced with and what everyone said and did, I could still hear remnants of my little girl. It was a small mercy for me that I soaked in.
What I Saw This Week:
Democrats have a plan to take back control of our education system. Arne Duncan, who served as secretary of the Department of Education under former President Barack Obama, wrote an op-ed for The Washington Post published Monday urging Democrats to use the funding in the One Big Beautiful Bill Act to hand out taxpayer money for left-wing organizations that will continue to push their radical ideologies in instruction. Read More Here.
Please send any questions or comments about the newsletter to goodlife@dailycaller.com. While I can’t always respond, I do try to read them all! The community we are building is one of my favorite parts of this experience.
Like what you’re reading? If so, please consider subscribing to State of the Day or sharing this with a friend. You’d be supporting this newsletter and helping keep independent journalism alive.